Cerita dan Kata-Kata

Dear Finta, First thing first, I want to say that I’m so much thankful to you. I feel so much loved by you. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for putting me above anything that sounds more logical than your final decision. I know, sometimes you like to make verdicts that seem careless and draw criticism from many people, but one thing I believe from you is that you are always fully aware and willing to take responsibility for all your strange choices. And at the end of the day, that’s fine. We know, regret is our number one enemy so thank you for always have the courage to make decisions. Thank you for not allowing anyone to dictate your life. Thank you for always listening to me, letting me feel and going through every emotion in my heart. You allow me to feel the ups and downs and never ignore it or sleep it away. I’m so grateful that you never underestimate every pebble on the road we walk. Thank you for letting me cry until my eyes swollen. Thank you for allowing me to be selfish ...

What keeps your balance? Mine? My writings.  Thank God I know how to write. Thank God I can be friended with words. What exactly happening right now is that I feel very lonely and afraid. I don’t know how to explain. No, I know. I’m just disappointed of everything. I have that big expectation that in this place, someone will understand. Someone just gives me that comfort. That feeling when I feel accepted. I never thought that at the end, I feel even lonelier, with those standards that I don’t meet.  It’s not that I don’t really meet, but it’s just not me. When I first came to this place, all I want is just a shoulder to cry on. Not someone who seek blessings in disguise. They just don’t understand what I feel. And that’s fine. Coming here made me realize that hoping someone would understand you without any pretention is so overrated.  At the end of the day, I should take care of myself. I should take care of my own feeling. Even wanting a safe place to cry is too much. I...