What If

I hate the term “What if”. That simple sentence always leads me to self disappointment and regret. When the words “what if” crossed my mind, the condition was always possible to be on my side IF I dare to take the chance. So what is the big deal? Why don’t I catch what I want? Why I let me be disappointed with myself?

I buried the dream to go to Big Bang Made in Jakarta Concert when I decided to go to Sabang for community service. I knew that I’ve been struggling for collecting and saving money for almost 2 years just to make this silly goal come true. But it came out the date of the concert, which was on August 1st 2015, was still my period of doing the community services. To go to the Jakarta from Sabang and get back to the west-est island in my country was not a joke. Plus, I need to spend more money for transportation and accommodation. Plus, I was not allowed to go for more than 3 days. Plus, I was the secretary of my team, it put me in the-you-have-more-responsibility-more-than-the-other-member condition.  Yeah, for me, the crazy-fangirl of a Korean best boyband ever, it was totally sucks.

The thought of attending the concert was always haunting me. The words “what if” “you’ve waited this for long time” and “you’ve came this far to make money for this and you’re not going?” never leaved my head, until a point I give up and decided to go. I will always be haunted if I do nothing. After some dramas with my parents and telling my whole team that I’d be off for 3 days, on 31st of July 2015 I went to Jakarta.

This was the craziest trip I’ve ever done. I sailed from Sabang to Banda Aceh, then rode becak motor to go the airport, had flights from Banda Aceh to Kualanamu Medan and from Kualanamu Medan to Jakarta……………. all by myself.  What makes it crazy for me was the fact that I wasn’t a flying person. I was afraid of flying alone. I knead someone hand when it comes to boarding and landing. Thanks to this trip, now I’m not afraid anymore.

I stayed at my grandma’s house and luckily, the house is not far from the concert venue. I went to the venue by ojek at 2 pm (the concert was going to started at 6.30 pm). After a long process of exchanging the ticket and queuing, finally I got to the concert hall!

I was so lucky to pick my seat. Because it was higher and I could see the stage very clear. And because I was so alone, I could run faster and got the best seat. 

Around 7.30 pm, the concert started. After an amazing opening video, Big Bang burned the venue with BANG BANG BANG. OH MY GOD!!!!!!! I was so amazed and excited that I wasn’t even took photos and videos because I want to enjoy the show with all of my senses. It was to amazing to skip even just for a wink. 

Even the promotor has so many flaws to be corrected, but Big Bang was beyond words. They sung very perfect and the stage act was a WOW. At sometimes they trying to joke with the audiences and speaking in bahasa,especially Seungri. It was fun seeing Seungri, the cute maknae messing around with the hyungs.

The other members were also astonishingly cool. Even I’ve watched them almost everyday, but they are soooo much handsome in person. TOP, GD, Taeyang, Seungri and absolutely my one and only Daesung. It was great to listening and watching each of them singing their own single with their own stage act. Just because I watched it live, I know how Taeyang’s Eyes, Nose, Lips was that grande and touching. And I didn’t even know that Daesung’s Wings could be that great on stage. 

One thing I really grateful was, beside they sung their newest songs like Bae Bae, Loser, Sober  etc., and their mainstream songs like Tonight, Haru-Haru, Lies etc, they also performed my favorite songs that they rarely sung it on shows such as Seungri’s Lets Talk About Love, Stupid Liar, Number 1. 

All the performances were impressive like I enjoy every single songs they sung but my most favorite performance was Sober.  I didn’t really like the song when it first came out, honestly. But after the performance, it was changed my whole mind about the song. SO DAMN BURNIN UP. And the very best part was when the stage main attention was Daesung. He was playing drum in the higher part of the center of the stage while the other members dancing in the stage under him. Madly- stupidly- happily-coolly hypnotized me. All his charm was flowing through the air like I couldn’t even resist.

It was started with videos and BANG BANG BANG and closed with it too. They nailed the show. Even the encore of the song still making me excited.

As the concert coming to end, I know that it was so worth my struggle. Big Bang will never-ever-ever-ever disappoint their VIPs. As my way back to Sabang, I know that I won’t ever-ever-ever-ever ignore my feeling of “What If”.